so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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