She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
