Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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