I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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