Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
