ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
