Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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