Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
