I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Of course I have a pirate flag
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
