no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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