I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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