why didn't you poke me back
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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