just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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