i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
