Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
