i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
never play flip cup with pint glasses
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize