Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
