I cannot find my penis.
my sisters under your porch take her home
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize