Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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