Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
