STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
