Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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