So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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