That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
