I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
