i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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