For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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