I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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