the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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