I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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