Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
you inspire me to be a worse person
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Randomize
