so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize