i think my tv is drunk
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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