Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
