Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
