He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
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I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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