how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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