She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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