when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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