OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
wrigley field is MILF paradise
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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