Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
