May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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