There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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