Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
