do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
