I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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