8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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