Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
