P.S. I can't hear my feet
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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