I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
