when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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