The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
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Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
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My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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