You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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