I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
