Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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